Friday, January 25, 2008

The Duel - Pt. 1

It appears that I have been called out. Long time friend and fellow brother in Christ, Eric Conn, has come to shame me. I for one do not take personal insults lightly, and I will not be mocked by some 'southern gentleman', if there is such a thing...

The following message was sent to me, and i must say, it cuts to the heart:

E-mail Title: Consider this a slap in the face with the white dueling glove of duels

No more games Paul Pavlik, I have officially registered for t4G and I am hereby slapping you in the face with the white dueling glove of duels and southern gamesmanship. Technically, I figure, you're a "seminarian," so that qualifies you for the $99 rate. The glove has slapped you in the proverbial face, your shame is made evident to all the world, and you have no choice but to respond with a duel on April 15 thru 17 in Louisville, Kentucky. Should you turn down this duel, you will be subject to a disgusting stomach cancer called "yellow belly." The duel lasts three days because that's how long it's going to take for me to put you to full shame. So, tell your wife it's a matter of a man's honor that ye be here for the conference, that is, duel.

Colonel Conn Sanders
Southern gentleman extraordinaire and true crafter of the famous Kentucky Fried Chicken recipe
67 dueling titles under his belt, 65 widowed, countless men shamed, and 1 more to denounce with all rancorous humiliation ( i.e. you!)



You have cut to the deepest core of my being and for that sir, I find it hard to decline such a duel. You sir are a detriment to all things honorable, and twill not be I that is shamed this April, but rather, twill be thee! Granted, the blood (plasma) that must be spillt in order that I may take up your challenge will nearly kill me in and of itself, but I cannot and will not run from so great a fool as you! Even if I must beg on the streets for funds, it must be so. You sir, are a villian. You shall not denounce me with all rancourous humiliation for I will return whatever attack you bring with fervor and a heart albaze with the glorious passion of a wild boar. Aye sir, a boar! You will rue the day that you challenged me!

Sir Paul
Colorado Knight and ArchBishop of all things smoldering and intense.
No notches in his belt, but he hungers for the visual shame that will no doubt be brought upon his enemies, beginning with the fall and total humiliation of Colonel Conn Sanders.

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