The Sin of Introspection

About six months ago, my pastors and fellow leaders confronted me on some sin areas that were in my life. It was very difficult to hear, and even though I have grown in the area I was originally confronted in, pride, I have taken on a whole new issue that has just about worn me down to the point of exhaustion.

When people are confronted by others in the area of perceived sins, it is very easy for the person on the receiving end to do a few different things.

1. They become angry and accusatory
2. They accept the communicated issue, but do not agree and continue in sin
3. They accept the communicated issue, and as a result become repentant towards God and desirous for grace and restoration.

There are more responses, but it seems like these are the most prominent. I thought that I was doing #3. In reality, I had created a sort of hybrid. I wanted to be humble, and I wanted to be at peace before Christ, and yet I felt angry and frustrated. The underlying problem was that I became so focused on defeating pride that I drowned myself in my own introspection.

When all a person can see is themselves, Jesus becomes almost impossible to see and almost more impossible to hear truth from. At least, that is where I have been over the last few months. In my mind all I wanted was to follow Christ and enjoy Him alone, and yet the fear of man and the sin of introspection began to drown out truth and bog me down to a breaking point. I became so consumed with over-analytical thoughts that I began to feel like I couldn't say anything worth saying and couldn't do anything worth doing. In other words, I not only thought too deeply about my thoughts and actions, but I also analyzed every result that could come from those thoughts or spoken words.

O how terrible is the sin of introspection. It steals joy and hides all truth. Thankfully, through the kindness and steadfastness of my wife as well as much prayer and reading through scripture, I began to see the hope that lies only in the Savior. I also ran across a message by David Powlison which was no doubt a balm to my weary soul. I highly suggest that you listen to it. Powlison is a very gifted counselor and I highly recommend any and all of his materials. If you have ever struggled with introspection, or you know of someone who does, I believe this may be of immense benefit.

While I may have grown towards humility in some respects, it is clear that I cannot rid myself of pride by mere introspection alone, but by mainly trusting in Christ and constantly and consistently applying His grace in my life. What a Counselor we have in Jesus!

You can download David Powlison's message here from Sovereign Grace Ministries.

Augustine on The Deceitfulness of Sin vs. God's Perfection

For thus we see pride wearing the mask of high-spiritedness, although only thou, O God, art high above all. Ambition seeks honor and glory, whereas only thou shouldst be honored above all, and glorified forever. The powerful man seeks to be feared, because of his cruelty; but who ought really to be feared but God only? What can be forced away or withdrawn out of his power--when or where or whither or by whom? The enticements of the wanton claim the name of love; and yet nothing is more enticing than thy love, nor is anything loved more healthfully than thy truth, bright and beautiful above all. Curiosity prompts a desire for knowledge, whereas it is only thou who knowest all things supremely. Indeed, ignorance and foolishness themselves go masked under the names of simplicity and innocence; yet there is no being that has true simplicity like thine, and none is innocent as thou art. Thus it is by a sinner's own deeds he is himself harmed. Human sloth pretends to long for rest, but what sure rest is there save in the Lord? Luxury would fain be called plenty and abundance; but thou art the fullness and unfailing abundance of unfading joy. Prodigality presents a show of liberality; but thou art the most lavish giver of all good things. Covetousness desires to possess much, bu thou art already the possessor of all things. Envy contends that its aim is for excellence; but what is so excellent as thou? Anger seeks revenge; but who avenges more justly than thou? Fear recoils at the unfamiliar and the sudden changes which threaten things beloved, and is wary for its own security; but what can happen that is unfamiliar or sudden to thee? Or who can deprive thee of what thou lovest? Where, really, is there unshaken security, save with thee? Grief languishes for things lost in which desire had taken delight, because it wills to have nothing taken from it, just as nothing can be taken from thee. (B2.CH6.S13)